Broken Haiku
2012-04-09 14:34:18 UTC
The 10 Nerdiest Deaths of Michael Shanks=A0
By Bri Buckley in Daily Lists=A0 , TV=A0
Monday, April 9, 2012 at 8:06 am
=A0 Hailing from British Columbia in the Great White North, Michael
Shanks grew up in the town of Kamloops. He was a bit of a self-described
over-achiever as a kid - he played hockey and rugby at school, became a
member of the Student Council, and eventually found his way into the
school theatre group. Acting hooked him after that, and he graduated
with a bachelor's degree in theatre from British Columbia University.
His film and TV career began with a few guest appearances and small
roles, until he was able to audition for the role of Dr. Daniel Jackson
for the TV series Stargate SG-1. Winning the part with his spot-on
impression of James Spader, who played the character in the original
film, Shanks was able to make the character a fan favorite -- so much so
that after he left the show at the end of the fifth season, a campaign
was launched by disappointed fans to bring him back. Michael Shanks'
career boasts an impressive range of roles, particularly on a wide array
of science fiction/fantasy TV shows. In fact, many people probably know
him as one of those "Hey! It's that guy!" actors. And in a startling
number of those roles, his character dies. He's like the Sean Bean of
science fiction TV. And a quick warning for those of you who are both
unfamiliar with Shanks' career and hate spoilers, well, it's best that
you not read further. In fact, even looking at the tags on this article
has probably already spoiled some things for you -- look away! LOOK
AWAY! Shit. It's too late now. Might as well keep on reading. 10) Death
by Werewolf, Red Riding Hood =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] It was
inevitable that massive commercial success of the Twilight franchise
would inspire others to chase desperately after the genre cash cow that
is Teen Paranormal Romance. No, seriously - that's a thing now. And for
anyone who may have been curious about the erotic potential of the fairy
tale Little Red Riding Hood, well, look no further than this 2011 film.
In a village plagued by a deadly werewolf, one teenaged girl (you know,
the blonde one with the red cloak) holds the key to the mystery of the
wolf's identity. It's even less interesting than it sounds - more
intriguing is the mystery as to why Gary Oldman is also in this film.
Michael Shanks plays a village man who is discovered to be having an
affair with the teenage heroine's mother. Unfortunately, most of this is
discovered after he loses the chance to explain himself, as he's dead
within the first twenty minutes of the film. 9) Death by Smallvi--er,
Sword, Smallville
A semi-recurring role on this ten-season juggernaut, Michael Shanks made
his Hawkman debut in the two-part episode "Absolute Justice." He
re-appears periodically, taking time out of his no doubt busy schedule
as leader and re-builder of the Justice Society, to give Clark and Lois
relationship advice, and finally met his demise while protecting Lois
from Slade Wilson in the episode "Icarus," first getting stabbed by
Slade's sword, then jumping off the building to save a plummeting Lois
while on fire. This gives the regular cast members the opportunity to
head to "Egypt" for the funeral, where they can look sad and
devastatingly good-looking all at the same time. You can watch the clip
here=A0 . 8) Death by Outer Space, Andromeda
=A0 An old wound of Rommie's is re-opened in season three ("Day of
Judgment, Day of Wrath") when the warship Balance of Judgment returns
and takes over a High Guard ship -- and Rommie. The Balance forces the
High Guard ship to build it a new avatar in the spitting image of
Rommie's old love Gabriel. This new avatar, Remiel, kills the avatar of
the Resolution of Hector (Christopher Judge) and seems poised to usurp
the High Guard ship and continue its insane rampage, but Rommie is able
to remind the ship of its duty. She gets into a fight with Remiel, mano
a avatar, and kicks his ass into outer space. 7) Death by Highlander
Flashback, Highlander: The TV Series =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0]
Actually, this is death by gunshot wound, but anyone who has seen more
than a few episodes of Highlander: The Series knows that any
non-immortal friend of Duncan McLeod who is featured in his many, many
flashbacks is a dead man walking. In the episode "The Zone," when
Duncan's current friend Charlie gets involved in a conflict in the rough
neighborhood in which he grew up, Duncan recalls yet another time in his
life when he was up against a gangster-type determined to take something
over. His soon-to-be-deceased friend (played by Michael Shanks) was the
son of a rich coal mine owner, who'd had enough of the miners' talk of
unionization. Poor Michael Shanks decides to try to intervene in the
resulting union-buster smackdown, and is caught in the crossfire. 6)
Death by Electrical Alien Insanity, The Outer Limits =C2=A0 iframe[
www.youtube.com=A0] This Canadian-produced TV series featured an episode
in the sixth season, titled "Manifest Destiny," in which a salvage crew
sent to investigate an abandoned and seemingly empty spaceship. When the
crew members start to act strangely violent, one-by-one, the ones left
alive realize that some kind of invasive alien consciousness is taking
over their minds and driving them insane. Michael Shanks, whose
character films a good bit of this episode, is the one that figures out
that the alien consciousness had been present in the ship's
computer/electrical system - and that the crew is infected via static
shock (no, seriously!). Shanks' crewmembers slowly kill themselves, and
he tries to prevent the alien consciousness virus from spreading beyond
the confines of the ship by taking his own life. Unfortunately, it
doesn't end there. 5) Death by Staff-Weapon-Thingie, Stargate SG-1
=C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] In the first season episode "Tin
Man", SG-1 visited a planet whose population had retreated deep
underground to avoid the radiation that had poisoned the surface, and
attempted to salvage what was left of their civilization by transferring
their minds to android duplicates of themselves. The one surviving
individual created duplicates of SG-1 - hilarity ensued, and the
duplicates agreed to remain offworld. SG-1 encountered their duplicates
again in "Double Jeopardy" when they were captured by the Goa'uld lord
Cronus, and Jack looks on in horror as he sees Daniel executed by one of
Cronus' Jaffa (at about 1:35 in the above compilation clip).
Fortunately, it turns out that it was the back-up model that had his
head blown off. This episode is also notable as the first time Michael
Shanks tried his hand at directing. 4) Death by Number Six from
Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice
Okay, so technically it was Michael Weston who finished Michael Shanks'
character off, but "tall, blonde and evil" Carla was the one who
originally burned Victor and killed his family. So Victor's work for the
Organization and eventual rebellion was all her fault. When Westen
decides to join forces with Victor (even after learning that Victor had
tried to kill him), the two make a desperate gambit to get Carla and the
Organization to back off in the episode "Lesser Evil." Unfortunately,
Victor is badly wounded by one of Carla's men, and he convinces Michael
that it was in everyone's best interests if he doesn't survive. Michael
reluctantly takes the shot and uses Victor's death as an opportunity to
make nice with Management. 3) Death by Car Bomb, Sanctuary =C2=A0
iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] When an elemental-delivery between Magnus
and a former gang-member named Jimmy goes horribly wrong ("Penance"),
Kate tries to drive Jimmy to safety but is wounded in the attempt. Jimmy
takes her to a hideout, where they process their feelings and discover
that they have a lot in common. "You grew up as a thief and a con
artist? No way! So did I!" "Your father was killed when you were young?
I was the one that killed your father!" This makes things understandably
awkward, what with Kate's hatred and desire for revenge. Meanwhile,
Magnus attempts to trick the gang into thinking that they have Jimmy -
but after the illusion is broken Jimmy turns himself in for real, and
detonates the C4 he has in his pocket, killing himself and the mobsters.
2) Death by Ship Avatar/Lover, Andromeda =C2=A0 iframe[
www.youtube.com=A0] When Rommie falls in love with an android named
Gabriel (in "Star-Crossed"), she's devastated to learn that he's
actually the avatar of the Balance of Judgment, a warship that went
completely bonkers after the Fall. Gabriel infects Rommie with a virus
that broadcasts the plans of the crew of Andromeda to the Balance, but
Dylan uses the opportunity to lure the Balance into a trap and destroys
it from the safety of the Eureka Maru. It seems that all is well and
Gabriel is free of the insane ship's influence, but Rommie figures out
that the ship transferred its artificial intelligence to Gabriel right
before it blew up - which means another, more devastating betrayal is
inevitable. She's forced to destroy him in order to prevent it from ever
happening. Things ended much more happily in real life, though - Michael
Shanks and Lexa Doig married in 2003. 1) Death by Radiation Poisoning,
Stargate SG-1 =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] Daniel Jackson died
many times before and since this one, but this death, shown in the
"Meridian" episode, is unquestionably the saddest. It lasted a lot
longer than the other ones, for one thing, and it's definitely the most
gruesome death on this list. While working to establish diplomatic
relations with a planet caught in a Cold War-esque struggle between two
major powers, Daniel is exposed to massive amounts of radiation when he
bravely averts disaster in a weapons laboratory while touring the
facility with Jonas Quinn. In an attempt to save face, the alien
government accuses Daniel of trying to sabotage the research, as he lies
dying in the infirmary at Stargate Headquarters. Each of Daniel's team
members bid him emotional farewells as his tissues break down and he
starts to drown in his own fluids - all last-ditch attempts at healing
him fail, and Daniel finishes the journey he began with Oma Desala in
the third season when he Ascends to a higher plane of existence.
Tags: Andromeda=A0 , Death=A0 , Highlander=A0 , Sci-Fi=A0 , Sci-Fi
Channel=A0 , Smallville=A0 , Stargate=A0 , SyFy=A0
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DON'T TAZE MY GRANNY!
BEWARE OF OL' JEEZL PETE.
2012-THE YEAR OF THE ROBBY.
By Bri Buckley in Daily Lists=A0 , TV=A0
Monday, April 9, 2012 at 8:06 am
=A0 Hailing from British Columbia in the Great White North, Michael
Shanks grew up in the town of Kamloops. He was a bit of a self-described
over-achiever as a kid - he played hockey and rugby at school, became a
member of the Student Council, and eventually found his way into the
school theatre group. Acting hooked him after that, and he graduated
with a bachelor's degree in theatre from British Columbia University.
His film and TV career began with a few guest appearances and small
roles, until he was able to audition for the role of Dr. Daniel Jackson
for the TV series Stargate SG-1. Winning the part with his spot-on
impression of James Spader, who played the character in the original
film, Shanks was able to make the character a fan favorite -- so much so
that after he left the show at the end of the fifth season, a campaign
was launched by disappointed fans to bring him back. Michael Shanks'
career boasts an impressive range of roles, particularly on a wide array
of science fiction/fantasy TV shows. In fact, many people probably know
him as one of those "Hey! It's that guy!" actors. And in a startling
number of those roles, his character dies. He's like the Sean Bean of
science fiction TV. And a quick warning for those of you who are both
unfamiliar with Shanks' career and hate spoilers, well, it's best that
you not read further. In fact, even looking at the tags on this article
has probably already spoiled some things for you -- look away! LOOK
AWAY! Shit. It's too late now. Might as well keep on reading. 10) Death
by Werewolf, Red Riding Hood =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] It was
inevitable that massive commercial success of the Twilight franchise
would inspire others to chase desperately after the genre cash cow that
is Teen Paranormal Romance. No, seriously - that's a thing now. And for
anyone who may have been curious about the erotic potential of the fairy
tale Little Red Riding Hood, well, look no further than this 2011 film.
In a village plagued by a deadly werewolf, one teenaged girl (you know,
the blonde one with the red cloak) holds the key to the mystery of the
wolf's identity. It's even less interesting than it sounds - more
intriguing is the mystery as to why Gary Oldman is also in this film.
Michael Shanks plays a village man who is discovered to be having an
affair with the teenage heroine's mother. Unfortunately, most of this is
discovered after he loses the chance to explain himself, as he's dead
within the first twenty minutes of the film. 9) Death by Smallvi--er,
Sword, Smallville
A semi-recurring role on this ten-season juggernaut, Michael Shanks made
his Hawkman debut in the two-part episode "Absolute Justice." He
re-appears periodically, taking time out of his no doubt busy schedule
as leader and re-builder of the Justice Society, to give Clark and Lois
relationship advice, and finally met his demise while protecting Lois
from Slade Wilson in the episode "Icarus," first getting stabbed by
Slade's sword, then jumping off the building to save a plummeting Lois
while on fire. This gives the regular cast members the opportunity to
head to "Egypt" for the funeral, where they can look sad and
devastatingly good-looking all at the same time. You can watch the clip
here=A0 . 8) Death by Outer Space, Andromeda
=A0 An old wound of Rommie's is re-opened in season three ("Day of
Judgment, Day of Wrath") when the warship Balance of Judgment returns
and takes over a High Guard ship -- and Rommie. The Balance forces the
High Guard ship to build it a new avatar in the spitting image of
Rommie's old love Gabriel. This new avatar, Remiel, kills the avatar of
the Resolution of Hector (Christopher Judge) and seems poised to usurp
the High Guard ship and continue its insane rampage, but Rommie is able
to remind the ship of its duty. She gets into a fight with Remiel, mano
a avatar, and kicks his ass into outer space. 7) Death by Highlander
Flashback, Highlander: The TV Series =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0]
Actually, this is death by gunshot wound, but anyone who has seen more
than a few episodes of Highlander: The Series knows that any
non-immortal friend of Duncan McLeod who is featured in his many, many
flashbacks is a dead man walking. In the episode "The Zone," when
Duncan's current friend Charlie gets involved in a conflict in the rough
neighborhood in which he grew up, Duncan recalls yet another time in his
life when he was up against a gangster-type determined to take something
over. His soon-to-be-deceased friend (played by Michael Shanks) was the
son of a rich coal mine owner, who'd had enough of the miners' talk of
unionization. Poor Michael Shanks decides to try to intervene in the
resulting union-buster smackdown, and is caught in the crossfire. 6)
Death by Electrical Alien Insanity, The Outer Limits =C2=A0 iframe[
www.youtube.com=A0] This Canadian-produced TV series featured an episode
in the sixth season, titled "Manifest Destiny," in which a salvage crew
sent to investigate an abandoned and seemingly empty spaceship. When the
crew members start to act strangely violent, one-by-one, the ones left
alive realize that some kind of invasive alien consciousness is taking
over their minds and driving them insane. Michael Shanks, whose
character films a good bit of this episode, is the one that figures out
that the alien consciousness had been present in the ship's
computer/electrical system - and that the crew is infected via static
shock (no, seriously!). Shanks' crewmembers slowly kill themselves, and
he tries to prevent the alien consciousness virus from spreading beyond
the confines of the ship by taking his own life. Unfortunately, it
doesn't end there. 5) Death by Staff-Weapon-Thingie, Stargate SG-1
=C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] In the first season episode "Tin
Man", SG-1 visited a planet whose population had retreated deep
underground to avoid the radiation that had poisoned the surface, and
attempted to salvage what was left of their civilization by transferring
their minds to android duplicates of themselves. The one surviving
individual created duplicates of SG-1 - hilarity ensued, and the
duplicates agreed to remain offworld. SG-1 encountered their duplicates
again in "Double Jeopardy" when they were captured by the Goa'uld lord
Cronus, and Jack looks on in horror as he sees Daniel executed by one of
Cronus' Jaffa (at about 1:35 in the above compilation clip).
Fortunately, it turns out that it was the back-up model that had his
head blown off. This episode is also notable as the first time Michael
Shanks tried his hand at directing. 4) Death by Number Six from
Battlestar Galactica, Burn Notice
Okay, so technically it was Michael Weston who finished Michael Shanks'
character off, but "tall, blonde and evil" Carla was the one who
originally burned Victor and killed his family. So Victor's work for the
Organization and eventual rebellion was all her fault. When Westen
decides to join forces with Victor (even after learning that Victor had
tried to kill him), the two make a desperate gambit to get Carla and the
Organization to back off in the episode "Lesser Evil." Unfortunately,
Victor is badly wounded by one of Carla's men, and he convinces Michael
that it was in everyone's best interests if he doesn't survive. Michael
reluctantly takes the shot and uses Victor's death as an opportunity to
make nice with Management. 3) Death by Car Bomb, Sanctuary =C2=A0
iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] When an elemental-delivery between Magnus
and a former gang-member named Jimmy goes horribly wrong ("Penance"),
Kate tries to drive Jimmy to safety but is wounded in the attempt. Jimmy
takes her to a hideout, where they process their feelings and discover
that they have a lot in common. "You grew up as a thief and a con
artist? No way! So did I!" "Your father was killed when you were young?
I was the one that killed your father!" This makes things understandably
awkward, what with Kate's hatred and desire for revenge. Meanwhile,
Magnus attempts to trick the gang into thinking that they have Jimmy -
but after the illusion is broken Jimmy turns himself in for real, and
detonates the C4 he has in his pocket, killing himself and the mobsters.
2) Death by Ship Avatar/Lover, Andromeda =C2=A0 iframe[
www.youtube.com=A0] When Rommie falls in love with an android named
Gabriel (in "Star-Crossed"), she's devastated to learn that he's
actually the avatar of the Balance of Judgment, a warship that went
completely bonkers after the Fall. Gabriel infects Rommie with a virus
that broadcasts the plans of the crew of Andromeda to the Balance, but
Dylan uses the opportunity to lure the Balance into a trap and destroys
it from the safety of the Eureka Maru. It seems that all is well and
Gabriel is free of the insane ship's influence, but Rommie figures out
that the ship transferred its artificial intelligence to Gabriel right
before it blew up - which means another, more devastating betrayal is
inevitable. She's forced to destroy him in order to prevent it from ever
happening. Things ended much more happily in real life, though - Michael
Shanks and Lexa Doig married in 2003. 1) Death by Radiation Poisoning,
Stargate SG-1 =C2=A0 iframe[ www.youtube.com=A0] Daniel Jackson died
many times before and since this one, but this death, shown in the
"Meridian" episode, is unquestionably the saddest. It lasted a lot
longer than the other ones, for one thing, and it's definitely the most
gruesome death on this list. While working to establish diplomatic
relations with a planet caught in a Cold War-esque struggle between two
major powers, Daniel is exposed to massive amounts of radiation when he
bravely averts disaster in a weapons laboratory while touring the
facility with Jonas Quinn. In an attempt to save face, the alien
government accuses Daniel of trying to sabotage the research, as he lies
dying in the infirmary at Stargate Headquarters. Each of Daniel's team
members bid him emotional farewells as his tissues break down and he
starts to drown in his own fluids - all last-ditch attempts at healing
him fail, and Daniel finishes the journey he began with Oma Desala in
the third season when he Ascends to a higher plane of existence.
Tags: Andromeda=A0 , Death=A0 , Highlander=A0 , Sci-Fi=A0 , Sci-Fi
Channel=A0 , Smallville=A0 , Stargate=A0 , SyFy=A0
More links from around the web!
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John Romero Needs More Bitches...=A0 Why else would he make another FPS
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Super Best Friends Forever Continues to Be the Best Thing Ever...=A0 For
those poor souls who missed yet need this joy in their lives....
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of science fiction TV. ...
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TR National Blogs
John Romero Needs More Bitches=A0 Mon, Apr 9, 9:53 am on Topless
Robot=A0
Charles Reese: Exec Paid Woman $750,000 Over 8 Years To Video Herself
Sexing Her Kids, Animals=A0 Fri, Apr 6, 4:15 pm on True Crime Report=A0
Anonymous Announces OpCannabis, Phase 1=A0 Sun, Apr 8, 8:00 pm on Toke
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Wii U's "Power" Not Part of the Equation=A0 Wed, Apr 4, 8:12 pm on
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Someone made a video game based on that cool vector graphics flyby scene
from "Escape from New York" [Cool]=A0
NASA seems to have been covering up what looked like a UFO from the last
shuttle mission. It happened during their live, public feed. They blamed
it on lens flare. They weren't saying it was aliens. But it was aliens
[Weird]=A0
Just what you need for the internet. A computer monitor that watches you
slouch.. and that other thing you do all the time [Interesting]=A0
The most complex Rube Goldberg machine in history takes 300 steps to
inflate and pop a balloon. Of course there's video [Spiffy]=A0
You'd think UFOs would have improved WAY past the flying saucer shape by
now, what with modern technology and all. You'd be wrong [Cool]=A0
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The Walking Dead + Mad Men =3D The Best TV Show That Doesn't Exist
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Things We Saw Today: Zombie Bunny=A0
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BEWARE OF OL' JEEZL PETE.
2012-THE YEAR OF THE ROBBY.